"One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search." -Robert Brault
He's getting married -- why am I not excited to see him walk down the aisle and exchange vows to a woman he loves? That's the thing, I'm not sure he loves her. If he did, why didn't he tell me? I'm his best friend, his little sister, his confidante...I didn't need to ask him if it was true, she shook her ringed finger in front of my face, as if she was trying to say, Try Me.
Why do two people get married? When I was a kid, I thought it was a requirement, something to check off on your bucket list. As I grew up though, I realized that it was more than that. I believe that marriage is a diamond in the rough -- something that is worth finding, but hard to find -- and when you have it takes a lot of TLC to make it shine. Then it happened, I met her. I saw how she manipulated me into thinking that they were in love, that she cared for him, that she was the one for him. She took me out. She included me in their daily shinnanigans. I thought she loved me too, just like he did. But she didn't. She took him away from me. Our relationship that I thought was unbreakable, dwindled quickly. First, she needed money for this, then that, then they bought a house. I was so proud. I was still stuck in this fantasy that as long as he was happy, he was going to be OK. It's been a couple of months since I haven't seen him. Usually, we'd talk. Usually, we'd bond. But we don't anymore.
Marriage is something that some women prepare a lifetime for, others do it out of spontaneity -- maybe she got drunk with Johnny one night and married to him by tomorrow. For some women, it's a path to gain something -- reputation, money -- but for some, what they gain is quite simple -- they gain another one to take care of, to love, a hand to hold, a body to cuddle with. That's the word that I was looking for to describe the perfect marriage: Simple. But if you think that buying them their love, appeasing to every command they make, having something that's one sided isn't what marriage is. Having something you want and not what we want is being single.
My key advice to you ladies/gentlemen, don't think about what you'll gain, what you'll lose -- think about the amazing life that you both have ahead. If you feel that you're not sure, no one is ever sure, but it takes a lot to say, "I do." My grandparents met by accident and have lasted for fifty years. But remember, they need to love you back. You need to be realistic. You need to be selfish -- you need to make sure they're not mistreating you. Even if on the day of you're nervous the best indicator is to look into his/her eyes before you become man and wife -- and determine if those are the eyes you want to look into for the rest of your life. Don't think that marriage is a requirement for you to have a successful life-- success, financial gain, are not the prerequisites to marriage. Keep it simple, keep it real. LOVE.
Lots of Love,
V
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