Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Have Yourself Another Dream Tonight

I'm going to try something new. Instead of ranting, I would just like to address a few things through a letter. To whom? To the broken-hearted girl/guy. So here it goes....

To the Broken-Hearted,

 I know it's over, right? You felt like you were living life in full throttle and that there was no going downhill from there. Your whole existence was dedicated to living with this wonderful person you've found or had found you. And you know, being in love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. You feel invincible, like nothing is going to bring you down, because you found this amazing human being. In your world, the impossible just became the possible. You found your little piece of heaven in this world of chaos. You found the person that you could potentially spend the all of your life with. And all your friends are so jealous about this new-found happiness. They always tell you how lucky you are to have this person and to call them yours. You have the single people sneering at you, because they want the same thing, they want what you have and for some reason, in your mind, you seem to be the only person to have him/her. We live in this world where we constantly adjust our lifestyles to what people want us to have, but this individual fell in love with YOU and that's when your self-confidence boosts. This experience is so life-changing that you feel like a new person. 


And then it hits you...or you hit it. The brick wall in the relationship. The fork in the road. Where you must decide whether or not it's the right thing...you and that person. Your significant other could hit this path before you do. Here you are at one point in time, where you're dissecting this relationship...and you could either break through this wall and forget that you didn't even hit it...or you could just stop there. There, your version of paradise is over. Your world crashes. And the last thing you want to hear from that person that you told everything, that you gave your whole life to, is that they never loved you. Or it could be vice versa. You're numbed by the fact, that all this time was wasted. Sometimes you're in denial. Sure, the relationship didn't work out. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe it wasn't for you. Maybe it wasn't worth it. Maybe it lacked the chemistry. Whatever it is, just know, cherish memories both good and bad. If you're in denial that it's over, you're living in this dream world where one day he's going to realize that he's missing out. It could be true. But he could've moved on already. For those assholes, who had no reason to break up with their significant other, who just did it for the sake of it...you just took that person for granted. People shouldn't be at your disposal, because once it happens to you, you'll realize how it feels to feel like shit.

Please make sure they don't come running back into your arms. Don't make it easy for them. Show them that the hell that they put you through made you a better person. I know that the tears, the temper tantrums, the random outbursts, the self-hate that person brought about after they ruined your life, were hard to forget. And even if you've survived your life without them,  there will be a point in time where you two will meet again. And there will be a point in time, where you'll question if it was right to put them aside. And there will be a point in time, where you want them back, where you go weak in the knees...where you want to go crawling back to them. What your after  is not actually them...it's that happiness that they put you through. But you know what I've learned? It's in the past and once a scar has appeared, it can never be erased. No matter how much anti-scarring ointment you put on it...it's still there.

Here's my theory, once you experience falling in love, then heartbreak, you always keep that memory of happiness and you spend the rest of your life trying to find the exact same thing. Well, I say break away. Keep the past in the past. Because once you find the next person, you'll experience happiness two times harder than before. So look forward to the future. It's going to be much happier. The next person is even more special than the last...he/she carried you out from all the sorrow you've experienced from your previous relationship. 

Or it could be a different scenario. It could turn out that this brick wall, is just one obstacle that you have to face in your relationship and that maybe it will take time to heal. Maybe it wasn't the right time for either of you. But if that's the case, there's no excuse for you to look forward to the future. 

I know it's going to be a hard first few months. But it's going to get better, if you believe that it will. 

Lots of Love, 

*****Dedicated******To all my friends, readers, who have experienced heartbreak...you're not alone.

Friday, August 5, 2011

The Person Falling Here Is Me

Standards. We all have them. Both sides have different standards. And this is what I was talking about with Harvey yesterday. You are probably saying, this bitch hasn't even been on her blog for a long time and hasn't even given us anything since I don't know, June? And now she's telling us about standards? First off, I would like to apologize. Life has just happened, people. I'm not the best blogger in the world, I know! Lately, I've been working on finding myself. Sounds trivial, right? But I've just been living life without thinking of what to say, what kind of person I have to be. Because you know what I realized? If we all live in this magical world of pretending, we're never going to find that person that we want to end up with for the rest of our lives. We will find ourselves the person that the pretend you wanted, not the real you. And what's the point? You won't find happiness there. You will at first, but life-long happiness is very rare. It really is.

And here I am. Living life as me. Not someone from a chick-flick or some Jane Austen novel. I'm happy and Harvey is still here in my life. And yes, we were talking about standards. And no, we're still not together (I know, right). But you know what? I'm happy where I am, even though, I want this guy so bad, I'm afraid of losing this relationship that we have now if I tell him my true feelings for him. So what were these standards? Well to be honest, Harvey didn't talk about his standards, he just listened to mine. I was just saying that my standards are not high, but not low, mind you. I explained that chick flicks fuck up a girl's mind...even chick lit...I mean, who doesn't want Mr. Darcy? Because I do. But realistically, I know, we won't find Mr. Darcy, but we'll find someone close to it. Did you know what I really needed to say to him? My standard is you. You're perfect, in my way. You're my version of a Mr. Darcy or a Rochester. Actually, you're better than any of those guys there. But of course, the sad and proud person I am, I didn't say it. I really wanted to. It was killing me inside. So now I'm here blogging about it, but I honestly do miss this. Please my dear readers, keep reading. I'm not giving up on blogging, nor am I giving up on being a hopeless romantic and never on Harvey...please bare with me! I will write soon, promise. 

LOL, 

V