ROMANCE, FINIS. YOUR CHANCE, FINIS. THOSE ANTS THAT INVADED MY PANTS, FINIS. Oh, I love Ella Fitzgerald. So anyways, that boy I was telling you about, remember him? "All the fucking way?" Yeah...a few nights ago he messaged me and asked me "how things are", this is just the problem. Why do some guys appear out of the fucking blue and act as if nothing happened to you four months ago? How can he just seep into my heart like that, when I don't even know him? I was willing to give him that chance to know me, but that was a long time ago. Yet, I trick myself into wanting him once more. But why do we do that? Why do we show a guy our weakness? Maybe it's because we just want to be acknowledged and it's nice to know that someone was thinking of you, while, of course, you repressed the memory of him into your brain.
See, my problem is (and maybe for some of you out there), I always idealize the guy that I like in my head and just fall in love with that one. And then when you realize he's not the guy you imagined him to be, you get hurt. I just need to stop doing those things, or in the end I'll get hurt. I love how I know things about some guys and can easily apply my knowledge to others, but with myself, I always struggle. WHY????????
I admit it, I'm contemplating on trying to reconnect with him, but I just don't want to be led on and i totally forget he's the dude who wants "a little less conversation, a little more action, please". I don't want to be like my friend who gave everything to a guy who never showed her love. I don't want it to be a one-sided relationship. Ugh, why can't guys just lay off, because they had their chance. I wanted to give it a try between the two of us. You apologized for being horny as fuck, and I was willing, but then you just broke off the communication.I'm probably not going to talk to him, because I just don't want to deal with someone like that, unless he proves it, otherwise. But for now, I'm still searching for my, Prince Charming--or someone close to that, hehe. Wherever you are..please take me out of my misery!!
L(ots) O(f) L(ove), ladies,
Miss V
