Self-Love is the Best Kind of Love

Don't forget to fall in love with yourself first - Carrie Bradshaw 

I'm alone. I look around at the Christmas decorations surrounding me at the malls. What's worse? Me seeing the couples walking around with a cup of hot chocolate and holding hands. They're smiling -- I'm not. I feel awful. Of course I long for the warm embraces, the PDA, and those three addicting words..."I love you." I wish one day that I could be one of those couples in the mall, and I know that I will (just not now).

Honestly, Christmas is the saddest season for singles. However, as much as I feel the same way, I've come to learn to not give a shit anymore. It's not because I'm angry and bitter, but it's just the fact that I need to start being happy for myself. My loves, we're chasing after this dream, this feeling, but we can't get it if we're not happy. For all the times we are mourning for our singledom, we could be enjoying our lives. Happiness is a key into finding love. If we're miserable, guys will not see us as prospective mates, why? Who the well wants to be with a bitter bitch? I certainly don't and I'm sure no one else does either. We need to enjoy the things we do. Join a book club. Maybe go to a pottery class (don't expect a Patrick Swayze/Demi Moore moment to arise from this). Take a walk. Eat at a restaurant by yourselves. If we don't enjoy ourselves, then we're not going to go far. 

Why do we do the things we do? We're looking for that lost gaze. We're looking for that smile across the room. We're looking for him. But it's just going to drive us insane. Trust me, I've been there. People think that if you stop looking for him, he'll surely come to you...and I agree with that. I believe it. Why? We're busy loving ourselves. Enjoying our lives as a single person shows a lot of confidence. And confidence attracts the right guy, because it shows that they're not looking for a one night stand, an exotic beauty, a temporary love -- they're looking for a girl that can stand strong as an independent. We rely on so much on fate and destiny, that we forget that we have a choice. Ladies, gentlemen --whoever you are--enjoy yourself, love yourself, be yourself. You're going to be married for fifty years and maybe more. But when you look back at your singledom crying, hating on the lovers, desperate, confused -- and no happy thoughts...yes, you've come to your senses. You really didn't enjoy yourself, while your man didn't put a ring on it. Once you have kids or a family to manage, you're going to wish to have your independence back. But you can't get it back, because you have responsibilities. If you've enjoyed yourself as much as you had when you were single, you wouldn't be living a life of regret. I'm not saying that marriage becomes a boring institution when it happens, but that in itself, is another journey. But you can't honestly get that if you were not happier before. If you're going to rely on a guy for happiness and pleasure, let me ask you, what will happen if he's gone? What will happen if he decides to leave you? You can't stand alone -- you'll be miserable. But if you were comfortable with being alone before, it might be a different story. Who knows? 

Happiness does not start with a man/woman. Happiness starts with you. Don't you EVER EVER forget. So this Christmas, I ask you just ENJOY yourselves.

I'm not going to make any promises on blogging, I know I'm not a very good blogger! I'm so sorry. 

Lots of Love, 

V