“No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.”Have you ever felt like your friendships depended on whether or not either of you have a guy in your lives? Do you feel like you're the only one who's working on this relationship and the other person isn't?
― Alice Walker
As a blogger on relationships, I don't mind including familial relations and platonic ones in my writing. Honestly, our life is one huge web of relationships and no matter who we hide from, we're all connected in this big circle called life.
Now, on the topic of friendship...What is it that make friends stick together like two peas in a pod? Life. Life is the glue that sticks us together. To depend on each other is a human condition. But if you're hanging out with the people who nod their heads in agreement to every fact and opinion of your life--maybe it's time to move on. People who feed on your advice for the hell of it and not even worry about your life -- I mean, if they don't take it seriously, that will affect you in the long run.
You see, as I said, life is the glue that sticks us all together. No matter what situation you're in, your friends are supposed to be there. Man or no man in your life, your friendship should last. If not, then there's a problem. What we've got here is a condition that people call, "We're two peas in a pod, only if there's a guy in the equation." And honestly, it raises a red flag on your friendship. If you, as friends, depend on each other only if there's some juicy details about your love life, I wouldn't consider it as a friendship. It would be more like an acquaintance.
It's sad, you know. You get out of high school, believing that every single person you take a picture with on your graduation day will stay in your lives. Sometimes, you let go of the good friendships for a toxic one. And you live your life regretting the people you decided to keep and the people you decided to let go. Sometimes, we ditch the people who actually care for us for the "yes" people. The people who praise you, who tell you that you're their besties, but who hide when you need someone to defend you. Relationships will come and go, but friends are forever.
And you need to find those friends that are forever. Not the ones who keep in touch with you when there's a guy around. Not the ones who tell you what to do, to think, and to feel. Not the ones who make you choose who you're allowed to hang around with. Not the ones who can't last a conversation without talking about a guy. Not the ones who worship you, but in a second, are ashamed of you. It's the people who don't have to hang out with you every day, but feel like it when you get together again. It's the people who love you for you and accept the people around you. It shouldn't be one thing that sticks you two together. It should be life.
Whether or not you're in these situations, you need to think about yourself sometimes. You need to be selfish, never selfless.
You need to let yourself grow. And you need to let go.
Trust me, when you get to a point in your life when you're surrounded by people who only care about you when there's no guy in their lives -- sometimes you just want to give up on your faith in humanity. But there's hope--it's never too late to make friends. It's never too late to make a friendship last forever. You have a lifetime.
Lots of love,
V
