For the Sake of Humanity, Get a Room

Caresses, expressions of one sort or another, are necessary to the life of the affections as leaves are to the life of the affections are to the life of a tree. If they are wholly restrained, love will die at the roots. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Yes Mr. Hawthorne, that may be true. Caresses, they feel good, but does it look pleasing to the eye from a third party's perspective? What I'm talking about here isn't just a spontaneous caressing session here...I'm talking about full out caressing--not caressing, just any type of PDA, as a matter of fact.

Today, while I was waiting for the bus (why do interesting things happen on the bus?) and a couple caught my eye. They were pecking at each other as if the guy was leaving for the army and she was staying home with the family. And I was like, "Aw isn't that sweet?" Where was my anger, you say? I thought you were hating on the PDA. Yeah, but PDA ain't that bad, it's good here and there, but not everywhere you go. I'm not talking about holding hands, I'm talking about kissing (not even making out), yes, just kissing. So, as I was saying, couple kissing as if it was the end of the world. I thought it was cute, because they were inseparable, and I wished I had that with someone. BUT then it happened, as I boarded the bus, so did they, yes I said they. No it wasn't just one, it was both. And I was like WTF? Are you kidding me? It was cute, but then it started getting nasty. And of course, they had to sit in front of me, so I could share their moments of love. And boy, did I just die. It was honestly, twenty minutes of sucking face for them and throwing up in my mouth. I looked around if I wasn't the only one barfing and I just felt bad for the girl sitting beside them, innocently listening to her iPod. Luckily, the girl (not the one listening to the iPod) took out an unfinished crossword puzzle and the guy was just looking out the window. But, that didn't work out either, as the girl got stuck on a clue. And of course, they went at it again, pecking at each other. Like just randomly, they would do it. It was just weird to look at it. After they asked each other questions or after she texted someone. They just gave each other that look and just kissed each other. Sounds cute, right? But to me, it just looked like some form of turrets-inspired pecking sessions.

Public Display of Affection. It's everywhere. Wherever you are there's a couple holding hands, doing their thing. And I'm fine with that. I'm totally fine with the subtle, simplistic things that couples do, that's what I like. And the occasional pecking on the cheek or on the lips, but not every second. Wouldn't you just get tired of it? Every second and every minute, there's someone breathing and slobbering all over you, it's making me cringe, as we speak. Isn't it better to expect the unexpected? Like getting a kiss out of the blue or as you walk, he suddenly grasps your hand and you just look at each other and smile. Isn't that better? Love, like public display of affection, should come unexpectedly, it should just happen naturally. It shouldn't become a ritual or else it becomes less special. And plus, it's not fun for other people to look at. Good thing, there weren't children around. So, if you're thinking of PDAing with your special someone, don't think, just let it happen...or get a room.

Lots of Love,

V The World

Your Turn!

Prior all of this Harvey shinnanigans, I wanted people to email me what kinds of situations you are going through and maybe give you guys advice. I'm here to lend you a helping hand or give you feedback. Just email me at askmevie@gmail.com and I'll post your questions or maybe your love stories on my blog. Show me some love!

Lots of Love,

V

How Can I Love You, If You Don't Talk to Me?

"I had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so I called him at home and then he e-mailed me to my Blackberry and so I texted to his cell and then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control. And I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. And now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."

~Mary, He's Just Not That Into You

I know, it's typical of me to put up a quote from a chick-flick that is my life-story, but hey, I only write about things that are true. It is easy to contact people these days, with all those social networking tools. With the press of the "Add" button, you could easily add the guy you kinda know , but you kinda don't. Or with the press of the "Send" button, you could send the guy a prospective chill session. And while we're dying in the corner waiting for him to respond, we justify his ignorance on our requests. Whatever happened to face-to-face interaction? Well, the most obvious reason is that it leads to shit-your-pants-situations definite answers, rather than justifying on why he never responded to that BBM you sent or the friend request that has been pending for months days. We name countless possibilities on why he hasn't responded. Maybe he was kidnapped and taken hostage. Maybe he fell into a hole into this new universe. Sometimes you wish that maybe you hadn't sent it at all. Or sometimes you actually wish that YOU fell into a hole and disappeared from the humiliation. It takes confidence to social network with others, but you know what's even scarier? Face-to-face interaction.

He's right there and you're talking to him. You're looking into his eyes, then to his sexy mouth, wishing that you could kiss them. You're asking him questions and he fires the answers. That's what you get, you get the answers to the questions, right away. Without dying in a corner or wishing that you fell from the face of the earth. And the more you talk to each other, the easier it will be to message him or add him on Facebook. This is probably why, talking to a guy in person is so much harder, than messaging him. However, there are some guys/girls who gain confidence behind the screen. Sometimes, you wonder, are they legit like that in person? He could tell you the utmost sweetest thing, but what's missing? His eyes, telling you the truth. Someone once said that the eyes are the key to the soul and they're the only way to know whether or not a person is telling the truth. Behind the screen you can't see...with the exception of Skype (ok, you got me), but still!

Face-to-face interaction is one of the best ways to communicate with a guy. Just seeing him and talking to him, makes you like (or hate) him more. You know if he's actually smiling/laughing rather than just LOLing or just LMFAOing. And you're not falling for the guy behind the screen, you're falling for the guy in front of you and for having the confidence to talk to you face-to-face. For my fellow readers out there, kudos to you to those who do it. I need to do it more often!

Lots of Love,

V

P.S. Sorry for the slacking, I've been busy!

You Make Me Smile

"You know when you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."  ~ Dr. Seuss

First of all, I'd like to thank all my friends, who have supported my "Pursuit of Happyness Harveyness." I am so thankful that I have met the most wonderful human beings on this planet. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! And also, if you ever need anything, just know that I am always here for you. A big shout out to pineapple --thank you for your comment, I really needed that eye-opener. You are one wise guy. I really appreciate and it helped me alot. And I'd like you all to know that I've done it --I asked him to dinner (with the help of my friends), wasn't expecting it to happen that day, but it did happen. What did he say? He said, yes, and to be honest with you, that's all that really mattered. I am one happy girl right now! Thank you all, you made this happen, I could not have done it without you guys, I know you are probably tired of me asking about countless observations and spending coffee dates dedicated to talking about Harvey..I'm sorry I put you through that. But I'm here now, I'm in the place where I want to be.

For the past few years of my life, I have experienced everything, but love. My family life was the best, and in a moment, everything fell through. That's when I stopped believing in love. The people that I had thought loved me, betrayed me and my family. I know it's long past, but you can never let those things go, even if all is forgiven. It ruined my childhood, but I'm better than I could ever be. I'm wiser, smarter and stronger. Sometimes, you give love to the wrong people, who don't deserve it. And you make a fool of yourself. But then I saw hope, I saw it in my family--just me, my parents and my siblings. I realized you didn't need to have anything big in life, it's what's in front of you. And that moment, brought me to believe in love once again. I've learned that love is like believing in God. You don't have to be religious to believe in love. Love is not a religion. It's something that could bring us together or even make our lives a living hell. It's there, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Love knows no boundaries. And like a child believing in Santa Claus, I live believing and hoping in love. I know it's everywhere. You don't have to see it to believe it, you feel it.

That's why I've become a hopeless romantic. I didn't see it before. I was looking for a guy 24/7. I thought I needed a guy to contribute to my happiness. But in reality, I wanted to hear an "I love you." To do coupley things--just like everyone else. But who needs an "I love you" that doesn't mean anything? I was looking at the big picture, I had to snap out of it. So I took the NO GUY OATH and stopped looking for a guy. AND BOOM! Look where it's got me, life's led me to Harvey. Ladies (and gents), just stop looking, the person who will make you smile, is right in front of you.

Lots of Love,

V

I've Got To Start To Open My Heart

"We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find."

Ok, so here I am writing blog posts on my friends, and you're probably wondering...What the fuck is going on with V? Or at least I'm hoping you are. So, am I going to answer your question (that I'm hoping that you'd ask)? Is there anything going on with me? Nope. Well, not in a sense. There are little things, but I have been so nervous to ask Harvey out and I'm too much of a pessimist to do so. I really want to, you don't even know...of course, the fear of rejection is an excuse, but it's not a reason. He likes me, I know it. And if you're asking me how, I don't find it necessary to prove it to you. I know, because I just do. The way he treats me, the way he remembers the littlest things from conversations that have long passed, the way he would inch closer every time he stands next to me...And I find that I always have to provide proof of why I like someone or why I know he likes me. I know that these little tid-bits of Harvey might not even be proof, but it's proof to me. I really like him, I  really do. There's no doubt about it. It just sucks, because there's me, talking to him and inside, I'm overwhelmed with emotions. I want him, but I'm stuck in this rut. I want to say something, but I can't.

What's my problem, then? Why don't I ask him out? All girls, like me and you, have that longing to be asked out by a guy. Why? It's probably because of all those chick-flicks that we've been watching. We dream of some hot version of Bradley Cooper walking into our lives and eventually asking us out. And for those who say, "I don't care who asks who out first.", you really do care. Of course, everyone wants a guy to ask us out. It's what boosts our confidence and it's proof that he really is in to us. But hey, the guy might be shy and we can't expect everything to go our way, so there are cases where we have to man up ourselves. So, I don't know, we'll see where Harvey and I go. I'll ask him out, but that, hopefully, won't be the end of our story...and no, I'm not expecting a fairy tale ending...just me and him holding hands, overwhelmed with smiles. I'm not expecting much, but to say that Harvey is mine, is one hell-of-a-victory.

Lots of Love,

V

Don't Give the Ghost Up, Just Clench Your Fists

You are head-over-heels for this one guy and you know that he likes you too, BUT he’s head-over-heels for something else. Nope, it’s not his crazed ex-girlfriend or his mother, you know what it is? It’s his job. And it’s a job that doesn’t involve wearing a suit and tie, or working in one of those exclusive buildings. No, it’s a job where he’s outside, saving people’s lives. Where’s he getting his hands dirty and where the lives of others are in his hands. Ok ladies, being Spiderman is not a career, not unless you’re Tobey Maguire. He’s someone who we take for granted every day, who risks their lives for YOU and run into burning buildings, with nothing but protective gear and a helmet. Yes, ladies, what I’m talking about today is a fire-fighter and why it’s a risk worth taking to bring him into your life.

No worries, it’s not me or Harvey that I’ll be talking to you about today. It’s about my friend Van, who really likes this guy who is in love with his job. And yes, he is a fire-fighter. Great, right? He’s well-built to carry you, he's heroic, he’s beautiful to look at, and maybe, he’s in that calendar that you own. But despite all of that, there’s one flaw. He’s out there, saving people’s lives, while you’re living life every day, as if one phone call could change your life, forever. You’re taking a risk liking him, because he’s taking a risk saving people. Is it because we don’t want to get hurt, if something bad happens to him? Isn’t that selfish, though? These are some of the questions that were pointed out by Van, to me, about liking someone like, this guy. You know what, I do find it somewhat selfish, but not to the point. Nobody wants to get hurt in a relationship, even if the guy is not a dick, he just loves his job. It’s a defence mechanism that is wired into everyone. We just don’t want to be alone, that’s why we’re trying not to like this guy. But you know what? Though I do find this some risky business, haven’t you thought about it on his side? Every time he’s out at his job, he’s thinking of YOU. He’s going to do the best he can to make this relationship work out. If he loves you, he would be doing the best he can to stay alive, just to see you again. He may be tough and buff, but inside, he cares for you and only you. Life’s about taking risks, but without them, life’s not the same. Take risks, like he’s taking risks out there. Take it from the leading ladies from all those comic books, nothing stopped them for loving their supermen, even if their lives were in danger. That’s what loving someone does to you, you’re willing to do anything (not anything stupid, though) for this one guy and you don’t care, just as long as he’s yours. Don’t move forward and regret giving him a chance. Give him one, Van, it’s the least you could do, while he’s out there fighting fires. I know how you feel, when you say that you're jealous of the whole world, because that's his first priority. And I know that you feel as though, you'd have to start a fire to catch his attention, but from what I see, all you have to do is let him into your life. He’s a life saver, but he’s also human and he needs someone there for him and I know you’re even capable of saving his life, because you’re worthwhile!

Lots of Love,


V

I'm Not Your Toy

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

How many strikes does it take to realize that the guy in front of you is a complete jackass? One? Two? Or three? Sometimes, when you experience pain, you realize things. You become more aware. You're stronger. But sometimes, things don't happen that way. There's times when you set yourself for your own demise. You say that you attract the assholes and you do. You accepted it. But what if...you stopped to think for a bit. Why do I have to go through the same thing again? Why would I do that to myself? My friend, CC has experienced a shit load of guys, who were probably the biggest assholes on earth. They were guys who would lead you on. Disappear. Then reappear with a different girl in their arms. And you know what? It's not fair for, CC. People like her, deserve the best. She's beautiful inside and out. Who wouldn't want that?

See guys...are probably going to be the biggest obstacles in our lives. They have the ability to change our lives and in a second, they have the ability to ruin it. They have the ability to make us doubt ourselves. To question whether or not we're beautiful, fun, or good enough. They're just that life-changing it's fucking crazy. They occupy our heads for so long. We even picture ourselves on the first date. And then what? He totally blind-sides you and tells you, that he needs to see where he is in life first. In other words, I only wanted to play. But we keep justifying these assholes and stand up for them. We put our fucking trust in them. And we totally fuck ourselves over. And we never stop to think...we just do it.

But what I want you ladies to take away from this is, just to stop and think. Think about yourself. Just like CC, she did it. And I am so proud, you don't even know. She could've kept going, but she didn't. She realized things, before it was too late. Never do things for the guy's sake. It always has to be about you. You have to feel happy. You have to feel loved. Appreciated. Not just someone who is there at their disposal. One more aware girl means, one less broken-hearted girl. So, if you're ever after a guy who you know is an asshole...hit the pause button and think for yourself. Don't do anything for him. It's your story. It's no one else's. Trust me, it'll only go so far if everything you did was for him.


Lots of Love,

V