If you’re wondering if I want you to, I want you to.

So my bowling event...what happened? I want to be honest with you all. Nothing happened. At least, I thought so at first. Then I realized how much I failed. So Harvey, the shy guy that he is subtly hinted to go out before he left. My friends and I were telling him to come with us to this Vietnamese restaurant, but the perfect guy that he was, he had to go see his family. Though, he was a little upset and was about to change his mind. But then he actually had to leave. So, he and I were all alone. And he was like, “I’ve never tried Vietnamese food. Does it taste good?” And this is where I ultimately fail. Now ladies, I know, I’m the one telling Y’ALL about relationships. But I wasn’t thinking. I was in so much shock and awe that he actually came to bowling. So, what do you say was my response? Let me just put in block quotes so you don’t make the same mistake that I did, next time a guy asks you that question,

“Yeah, it’s good. YOU SHOULD TRY IT.”

What the fuck, V? In my head, I was like, fuck you blew it. My sister was saying that’s just like someone saying hello to you and you saying goodbye to them, right after. But I still have a chance to make up for it. He’s someone that I don’t ever want to let go. There’s just something about this guy that makes me want him more. And ladies, I’m not kidding. I’m biting my lips and smiling, as we speak. I could have never imagined finding someone like this, after all the assholes that I’ve encountered in the past. I think that when I stopped looking for someone, Fate just totally brought him to me. It’s like a breath of fresh air. I’ve never felt so alive and happy. I want all of you to take something from this. And I know I sound pathetic there and that I’m a total hypocrite with getting angry at people saying mushy things about someone, but when you actually encounter this kind of person, you’ll change your mind.

We shouldn’t be expecting that every guy we see is someone that we want to date. We need to stop looking and stop waiting. We just need to focus on ourselves, first. All those assholes in your lives don’t deserve a wonderful person like you. If you think that he’s going to treat you with respect, after he’s treated you like shit, you’re on your own. Guys like that, are horrible people and they won’t change for you, just because you give them an ultimatum. It’s not YOU. It’s H-I-M. Don’t hurt yourself trying to ask questions on why he would leave you hanging like that. It’s not your fault. It’s his. He’s the one that’s not taking chances here. You’re willing to give your heart to him and you’ll do anything for him, just to hear an “I love you.” But he won’t do the same, for you. It’s a one-sided thing and it’s not right. If you’re stuck in a rut, do what my amazing friend did and just let him go. She did. It hurt, but she did and I’m so proud of her. Instead of expecting assholes, I ask you, just don’t think about it. Keep an open mind. The right guy will come to you, when you least expect it. My mom said once,

“Love’s like death, you never know when it’s going to hit you, but it eventually will.”

Let’s just hope you don’t hit both at the same time!!

Lots of Love,

V

Matters of the Heart

Have you ever attempted to tackle to answer that question that is almost as important as “what’s my purpose in life?” You probably have. I know I have. I know, quit playing games, it’s time to tell you what the hell I was talking about. Love. What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me. I’ve got a few ideas, coming from some observations that I’ve faced with this full-fledged emotion. From my point, love’s not what it’s all cracked up to be. It’s not the butterflies in the stomach. It’s not blinding. Those are just symptoms (that also could be very misleading). Love’s something totally different. It’s something simple. Not something that came out of Twilight a fairy tale. Love is something that has its up and downs. It can’t be forced upon. Love just happens. And it's definitely not a one-sided thing—that would be infatuation.

Today, I was waiting for the bus and this girl came up to me and she started talking to me. We talked as if we were old friends that bumped to each other and were just catching up. She was nice. She told me that she had recently been dumped by her boyfriend of three years. I asked her how recent. She said, “Feb 23rd.” Today’s, March 2nd. I couldn’t believe it, how could someone handle it so calmly. It didn’t seem like it at all, she seemed so happy and outgoing. I know that three years is a lot of time to spend with one person, but just imagine ten or twenty or better yet, fifty. It just got me thinking, as a couple, you’re always in danger of breaking up. No matter how much you think it impossible, it’s possible. She saw that it was coming, but why wait for the blow when you could just end it when you realize that he’s not the one? She said she “loved him,” but why love someone who doesn’t love you back? To me, that’s not love at all. All these questions rushed into mind as she told me about her situation. I don’t ever want to live in a one-sided relationship where I’m the one trying hard to keep the relationship together. We need to be in a relationship where it’s balanced.


Today, we see so many instances of break-ups or cruel divorces and this is all part of our society. That’s what we all fear. Everyone says that it’s because our lifespan is long and we’re not used to sticking around with one person for forty years. Or that explanation that man is naturally a polygamist. How could we explain those couples who’ve lasted sixty years? Sure those sixty years weren’t perfect as we all think them to be. For all we know, there could have been cases of infidelity or falling out of love during those years. But that’s all a part of it. Obviously, not really the infidelity part, but you know what I’m trying to say. What keeps these couples together is not just love, but faith—in each other. Couples nowadays just think that one small fight is a reason for divorce. We think that it’s the only way out. To be honest with you, that’s the easy way out (depending on the situation). We can say that there’s no such thing as true love or that true love never existed. Call me a hopeless romantic (because I am), but true love does exist. Just savour the moment with that one person. Science says twenty-first century humans have a longer lifespan, take advantage of that. We’ve got lovers from way back when, who could have lasted a century, but lived together for a year or two. Why can’t we just love and not worry about others? Live life like every day was as if you were still pursuing him. I mean, people take this whole marriage thing for granted. It doesn’t matter if you’re married in a church or city hall with a big ass reception or if you’ve signed some document saying that you’re legally married to him. It’s not supposed to be this blitz where we show off how much money our families have. It’s not a competition. What it’s supposed to be is this instance where we take vows to promise to be there for each other through life’s ups and downs “till death do us part” and that this ceremony is to show off how much we love each other and that we don’t care what our guests have to say. What you know for a fact that this person will be your source of happiness for the rest of your life and you will be his too. Sure, I’ve never been married, but this I know is a true story: My parents.


Let me give you some food for thought:

My mom told once that God (or whoever you may believe in) is smart. He built our bodies in a way that would help us make decisions properly, she said:

 God put our brains at the very top of our bodies and the heart below it. It’s a way to tell us never to think with your heart, but with your brain, first. It’s that simple.

Lots of Love,

V

I Want To Hold Your Hand

Look, other bands, they want to make it about sex or pain, but you know, The Beatles, they had it all figured out, okay? "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The first single. It's effing brilliant, right?... That's what everybody wants, Nicky. They don't want a twenty-four-hour hump sesh, they don't want to be married to you for a hundred years. They just want to hold your hand. ~ Thom from Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist (LOVEE)

 

That's exactly what I want to do whenever I look at him. And that's all that plays in my head, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". I just want to grab his hand and show him off to the world that he's mine. I don't care about anything else, that's it. Anyways, let's get on with the mushy part and tell you the BIG NEWS. 
  
I ASKED HARVEY OUT. In other words, I FINALLY GREW BALLS. Yeah, I know, I can't believe it either. This Friday, I have a charity bowling event. My sister brought about this idea to ask him to join my team, and you know what, I decided that this is probably the only chance that I've got. So I went up to him and straight-out asked him. No Big Deal, right? I was definitely dying inside, but it sounded pretty chill. You don't know happy I am that he said YES. And he seemed pretty enthusiastic about it. Let's hope this works out ladies, but you know what I'm afraid of?

I find that strong-headed women (no offence to me or you) are susceptible to heart-break. Why, you say? Well, think about it this way, WE ASK THEM OUT. WE INITIATE. All HE'S got to do is give us an ANSWER. WE'VE GOT TO DO THE HARD WORK. I just think that maybe we're leading ourselves into our own demise. I know Harvey's a shy guy...like REALLY SHY (he's still not off the hook), but how about other guys? Do they just play around with our heads, because they know that we're crazy about them? So they say all these things to get us worked up and then once we're caught in their trap: KAPUT...he's got himself a new girlfriend. He's disappeared into some other universe, where he doesn't know who the fuck we are. He doesn't answer our text messages/calls/emails. Then we freak out. Maybe something's wrong. Maybe he got into a car accident and he's not able to text. Or MAYBE he's just not that into you?

That's what I'm really afraid of. I don't want to get hurt. Nobody does. But you've got to experience pain to find the truth. It's not always going to be this fantasy we've conjured up in our brains. We're not living in a chick flick ladies. We are capable of making our own love stories and we shouldn't be relying on some unrealistic movies to show us this is the way to do it. Not every guy is Joseph Gordon-Levitt a hopeless romantic. We need to get away from this mindset and just be ourselves and not that chick in that movie. I don't know, ladies. I'm scared, but this is probably my only chance to chill with him and to see what will happen after that! Let's just hope that one day my post will say, "I FOUND HIM."

Lots of Love,
V

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

OR

If you don't roll that way: HAPPY SINGLES' AWARENESS DAY!

I know it's a short post today, but I've got BIG news for you, ladies! More to come...

Lots of Love,

V

These Words From My Heart

You know what’s rare these days? Honesty. Straight-fowardness. Courage. Especially with regards to feelings. We totally get caught up in this universe where: when you have something good to say, don’t say it all. Wasn’t it supposed to be when you have something bad to say? Yes, unfortunately, it’s so rare to tell your true feelings for that someone, because we have this mentality that the only thing we can tell our true feelings to is our teddy bear bedroom walls. It’s not bad, really, but the problem with everyone these days is that we don’t want to be JUDGED. We don’t want to be REJECTED. We don’t want to get HURT. We are COWARDS. However, for those who tell their true feelings, attractive or not, kudos! But, we make fun of those people. We question their antics. And we go even further to make fun of them: Who does that guy think he is? We make their lives a living hell, meanwhile, we’re doing that to ourselves by not telling the guy the truth. Advice to me and you, my fellow ladies: QUIT IT.

Earlier, I was talking about Harvey and how I would take things slow. But today, because of that friend who grew balls, I was inspired. Actually, I made a truce with her and now I have to fulfill my part. AKA, I have to ask Harvey out for coffee, which shouldn’t be a big deal. I said shouldn’t. Anyways, my friend, let’s call her Jaylin, had a hell-of-a-dilemma. The guy, who she is friends with (who also has a girlfriend), told her that he had still had feelings for her, and they haven’t changed. I know, scandalous, right? Well as she was dealing with this “I-jus-shit-in-my-pants-from-anxiety” situation, she realized that she has feelings for him too. Would totally be romantic, if she wasn’t the third wheel, right? Well, she wanted to tell him, but obviously, it’s a little risky and plus, homewrecker status was on high. So she didn’t for a while, until two/three days ago. And you know, I don’t see her as a homewrecker. It’s a not a sin to say something on your mind. She had a need to be honest with him. And here’s where she inspired me. We need a little more honesty. We need to stand out from the rest of the girls who think that flirting or making sexual gestures will get them into a guy’s heart. In the end, all that matters is your true feelings, even if it’s just a crush. In terms of marriage, sure wearing/saying something sexy is a good way to start a marriage, but when it all boils down to nothing, what really matters? Love. Sure, love can be expressed in many ways: expensive gifts, sex, a kiss, a hug, who are we kidding? But the best part part of love is hearing those three, yet so cliché, words: I LOVE YOU, from the person that you can say those three words to too. Nothing should be holding you back from saying it, you should be able to say it freely. No strings attached. And this is what Jaylin did. She took the hit. She took it for the team. It may be an obvious anxiety attack on her part, but for me, it’s inspiring. Love you, girl!


LOL,


V

Gamble Everything For Love.

Everything you want is out there waiting for you to ask. Everything you want also wants you. But you have to take action to get it.

~Jules Renard

Have you ever felt like you and the guy that you are totally smitten with, are living in the utmost parallel universe? You definitely like him (HEAD-OVER-THE-HEELS). And he definitely likes you. BUT (there’s always a “but”), none of you are taking any action? It’s kind of like one day, you’re going to grow some balls and finally ask him out, but then something happens...You don’t see him that day (or you did but the balls that you supposedly grew disappeared). And it could totally be like that on his part (without the balls’ disappearing, that would be of concern), so how the hell would you fix this?

Ok, so this is my dilemma, I really like this guy. For our sake, let’s call him Harvey. When I first saw Harvey, I was like, “Wow.” And no, it’s not like he’s a heartthrob (he’s cute), but I just got that feeling that this guy is someone that I’d like to pursue. I met him last October, on the same day that I first saw him (I know, I should’ve written a blog entry at that time) and as a few months pass, I started to get to know him. My verdict: he’s sweet, funny, non-judgemental, and most of Harvey's just HARVEY. BUT the problem was, how would I subtly ask him to go out with me? He’s shy. I’m shy. See, the parallel universe, here? Yeah. That’s why I made it my New Years’ Resolution to take chances and make mistakes. And I have not yet taken it to word. Why? It’s probably, because, I’m afraid that I was wrong about him liking me and that he’d reject me...or it turns out that he has a girlfriend already. Really, though, I’m not going to ask him, “Hi Harvey, please just date me now.” No, I was just planning to ask him out for a coffee date. I want to take things slow, but not too slow, to the point where I land myself in the friend zone. To be honest, there’s nothing to lose. “Do you want to go out for coffee?” is a yes or no answer. So what am I waiting for? To be honest, I really don't know, but what I really do know is that I really like him. Why? I've met some of the biggest jerks on this unpredicatble planet and when I encountered Harvey..it was like so there are such things as nice guys!


Anyways, my advice for you ladies out there, who are stuck like I am: JUST DO IT (in Nike's words). We shouldn’t be scared. You know the problem with guys from the 21st century? They’re scared of us too. You don’t meet guys who are up front anymore. You don’t meet guys who write love poems or letters to woo you anymore. No, it’s all about, “I want to sleep with you”. Well, so far, in this somewhat short lifespan of mine. But from what I see: WE have to take action, because THEY’RE afraid of telling us their true feelings. Apparently, we have switched each other's roles. LIKE WTF. Man...I just want to tell him.

LOL,

V

P.s. I made a truce with my friend (and my sister) that if I ask him out, they'll tell the guys that they like how they really feel...UPDATE: my friend grew balls. NOW, it's my turn. FUCK.

My New Year's Resolution

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

-St. Augustine

I know it's been a while since i haven't posted anything. It's just that there has been a lot going through my mind and I can't seem to write. However, I'm going to try to post as often as I could!! First of all, Happy New Year to you all! Wishing you that your year is filled with love, good health and most of all, happiness!!! I can't believe that it's already 2011.

The quote I have listed above is one of the most beautiful descriptions of love, I have ever come across. Love is not something that you can ever take away from someone, no matter what you do to them, the love that they have for you will be imprinted in their heart forever. That's what real love is, anyways. But some people find that "love" has symptoms, as if it were a common cold or a flu. Sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach, quickened heartbeat, can't eat, can't sleep. We could totally manipulate that, though. When it all boils down to nothing, what's left? Love? Infatuation? Let's be realistic, love is rare. It's not easy nowadays, to find it. It's masked behind the proliferations of divorce, heartbreak. People are afraid to fall in love for that reason. Statistics say this. Statistics say that. But for once, instead of hiding, we should go out there. Meet people. Mingle. And just maybe, we'll find love somewhere. Somewhere where we least expect. Take chances, make mistakes, as Miss Frizzle would say. I ask all of you, to surrender to the pursuit of love. To find that someone that not only gives you butterflies for one moment, but for a lifetime. To find that person that you are willing to fall in love with every day. Don't tell me, it's impossible.

The pursuit of love may be one of the most exciting times of your life. It's like a treasure hunt, although, the reward is far more worthy than gold. I'm going to take chances this year. I don't want to live a life of "what ifs". So join me, in this pursuit! It's never too late to start, right?

L(ots) O(f) L(ove),

Miss V.

Hello Ladies (&Gents, of course),